Karimabadi
Notes 2009
Pedar, happy father’s day! Hope everything is fine on the other side. Here as Mehrzad noted many Iranians are mourning the loss of their loved ones. I am glad you are not here to see what we have witnessed! You knew best when you said do not get involved in politics; I agree it is a dirty game and we are listening to your last wish! It is extremely hard not to express our thoughts when we have karimabadi blood running in our veins!
Rest in peace, glad you did not see the current turmoil in our beloved Iran,
Missing you every second,
Shahrzad/ June 22, 2009
[ ] There is another Fathers' Day, and the only thing I can imagine is how your face would be seeing all that is going on. I can picture you watching the news, the footage, the pictures, and all would break your heart..After all a Karimabadi is a Karimabadi and will stay one, keep praying for us all, for people ...I changed the homepage as we pay tribute to you and the fathers who lost their daughters and the children who lost their fathers...
Looking forward to peace for all souls.
Mehrzad, 06/21/2009
[ ] I have promised you Pedari, I know. I would not have anything to do with politics, I won't. As difficult as it is to keep this promise, I am keeping it. I don't know how you did not back in the day, but I guess you learned the hard way so to speak:
Iranian Student Hunger Strike -- Consulate of Iran (July 25, 1961) . BANC PIC 1959.010--NEG, Part 3, Box 177, [07-25-61.05-06] . 21 negatives
Views of picketers with signs marching outside the consulate. Group of men sitting in room and talking. Two unidentified men standing and talking. Students wrapped in blankets on steps of the consulate. Student who fainted from hunger (Khalil Karimabadi) surrounded by others. Picket leader standing and talking. Picketers marching with sign that reads "Terrorizing our leaders will not silence us." Views of marchers.
http://content.cdlib.org/view?docId=tf338n99v6&chunk.id=c049680
I keep my promises, all of them too, but my eyes are wet looking at a father that was shot in the head...a baby was denied from having a father and that is for God t o judge,
Mehrzad, 06/16/2009
[ ] - How long has it been since you last checked your digital messages?
The customer service lady asks.
- a little short of two years! I respond.
- O, Wow! you must have quite a lot to go through then!
I laugh and say:
- Embarrasing... I know! but...when I set up the password for the phone was prior to my father's passing...
- I am sorry to hear that...
- ... thank you, and when he passed I forgot what the password was, but can I retrieve it now?
I was hoping that all the old messages would be gone and somehow I did not have to review the pain...little that I know about this advancement in technology: unlimitted digital voice mail! The first message was from Aaghaye Zarafshan wishing you well...the second was another friend of yours, dayijounhaa and then the first one of the series of pooring messages from Houshi who left a real touching message, Shadi that is almost crying, Saba, I could feel that she is connected with us in this experience, Sedi joun, Naji joun, Mansour joun, ammejoun, dayejounaa and...the strangest however was the one from god blesses his soul, Sarhang Fattahi...and maadar and I can not hear who the next one is...
Tanha Sedaast ke meemaanad...
Mehrzad, 0505,2009
[ ] - Where is "Karimabad" ?, Dr. C. asks to start a conversation...and my mind was filled with your presence...how much I miss you when the spring is fully observed...
- "Karimabad" used to be a garden in downtown-Old Tehran, nearby "Sarcheshme". My grandfather's coffeehouse was there which was called the same, a sample of coins specifis to his coffeehouse is kept in Museum of Anthropology in Tehran...
and I was drowning in the stories of coffeehouse storytellers, paintings and stories of your childhood- the way you used to narrate...I look down and see your tennis shoes, the brown ones...it's a coincidence...so are many other things after you passed...
I wish you had gotten a chance to write your own version of Old-Tehran, the way you wanted...your hometown just turned 700,
Wish you were here, Pedar.
Mehrzad, April 26, 2009
[ ] Shahrzad and I have given the Mother's Day present to Maadar already, this year...we did relatively good not knowing what you may say. I am sure you would have enjoyed to watch her surprised. I am working on this everlasting thesis to give it to you as your present. I will not make it by Father's day this year, I'll be a little late. Shahrzad is almost there, she's made it for your day. When it comes to the promisses she made you, she never fails...
Pedar jounam, I keep my promiss too,
Mehrzad, April 26, 2009
Two years has passed from the first time you experienced the pain ... the early sign of your advanced illness. I never imagined losing you this way, this early...
Shahrzad, April 1/ 09.
Our first 7 seen without Pedar...
Mehrzad, Shahrzad, and Nikzad...March 20, 1388
[ ] Pedar jounam as I go through the mail and see the BDay cards, I see a piece of advertisement that has your name superimposed on green grass ...the card resembles a greeting card which is really strange...I know you are here and tomorrow I will blow the candles praying for your soul...
Mehrzad - March 13, 2009
[ ] Pedar...We can't say Happy Birth Day, but we can say we are happy that you were born to be our father...to make us proud and teach us the greatest lesson to carry on...
Happy that we had you...still have,
Mehrzad - Feb 20, 2009
Pedar February is here, so is your birthday. Tonight is the night we had celebrated for years. It now brings sadness and emptiness. I know some people celebrate their deceased loved one’s birthdays, but it is impossible for me to think of celebration without your physical presence! No word can show how much I miss you!
Love you Bobi joonam,
Shahrzad, Feb 19/09.
Pedar, remember you once told me you got tired of school, so you did not pursue your graduate studies?! I am at that point! I try to do the right thing though. My master’s thesis has turned into project; all I have gathered during my trips to Iran is useless now! So much work for nothing! I do not have much to say in this project and that makes me frustrated!
I wish you were here…! I promised you to get my graduate degree, and that is the only motivation that wakes me up early mornings and keeps me up at nights!
Missing you more than ever!
Shahrzad, Feb 19/09.
[ ] Bobi jaan, Your February is here. As I am listening to Kitaro's Caravansaray I remember the days we watched the Silk Road together...they seem so far and yet so close. Your soothing voice that once in a while had people asking if you were dubbing any films...It all comes back. Today was Maadar's BDay and she had seen you in her dream again, like always you've been here to make sure we were all right. As Seyed Ali Salehi wrote in his Naame Haa: Haal-e Hameye Maa Khoub Ast, ammaa to baavar makon...
XOXO for another Februaury without you,
Mehrzad - Feb 16, 2009
[ ] Pedar joonam, I guess when my brain stops and the only decision maker becomes my heart, thinking about what you would tell helps me a lot. I remember you were telling me Que, Sera, Sera...and I loved it but never thought about it deeply enough as I should. I was listening to Eckhart Tolle and he said the same thing, of course elaborated on it:
"...Something in the collective wants change and what we need to do is to be open to this revolutionary impulse, so we can cooperate with it rather than to protect ourselves and our ego from it, and part of this teaching is about opening yourself more and more to what wants to happen in this planet not what I or you want to make happen- something far greater than individual person- but it can only happen through the individuals..."
So here I am and you were right: Que, Sera, Sera...
Mehrzad - Jan 26, 2009
These days Shireen talks alot, while playing with her toys. Today while playing with my cell-phone, I caught her saying "Pedar Bia, Pedar Bia"... I would like to think you are connected to her, even if you two were not meant to be together on this earth...Miss you Pedar, especially when Shireen calls on you! Love you Bobi Joonam!
Shahrzad, Jan15/09.
[ ] While Shahrzad is going all technical with her use of multimedia, I am still wondering how I can best keep your memory alive...I guess your memory doesn't need a soldier like me to keep it...it is in every smile that you made for the people that others did not care to acknowledge, in every thing you did without expecting anything in return, in every joke you made keeping the positive energy flowing around us…I like to feel your presence around, since the positive energy can not be gone…
Just remembered that you didn’t like any of us say: Ghorboonetoon Beram ( there... I just said it ;)
Mehrzad - Jan 14, 2009
Indeed Parvin Etesami says it all...
18 months ago we gathered for the last time. It is extremely hard to remember the days of your illness, and the morning of your departure. I still question fate. I still go to sleep with wet eyes, and I still cannot accept the fact that you will never return to this world!
Shahrzad, January 12/ 09
For the past 9 months Shireen had been calling you "Pe", She finally said her first pedar on December 20th...
Shahrzad, January 7/ 09
2009 is here, but you are long gone! yet so close! Mehrzad was here for the New Year and made it easier for us to be a way from everyone... So much has changed since your parvaz, but we know what you would have said if you were to see them all... I love you Bobi joonam!
Shahrzad, January 7/ 09